Yom Kippur marks the end of the Days of Awe, also known as the Days of Repentance. It is the holiest day of the Jewish year and a time for fasting, reflection, repentance, and forgiveness.
Jewish tradition teaches that on Yom Kippur we are judged for what we have done during the past year. We ask God for forgiveness for our wrongdoings and examine how we have behaved toward the people around us.
There is an important distinction when another person has been hurt by our actions. We cannot simply ask God to forgive what we did to them. We have to face the person, acknowledge what happened, and ask for their forgiveness.
That requires sincerity.
Saying Sorry
We use the word “sorry” so often that it can lose its meaning.
We say it when we bump into someone or interrupt them. Sometimes we say it automatically because the word is socially expected.
A sincere apology asks more from us. We have to recognize that our actions affected another person and accept responsibility for our part in what happened. We also have to understand that the person we hurt may not be ready to forgive us.
An apology does not create an obligation for someone else to forgive.
It gives us the opportunity to be honest about what we did and take responsibility for it.
That is much harder than simply saying the word.
Forgiveness
The other side of the conversation is forgiveness.
Anger, disappointment, guilt, and hurt can stay with us for years. Some of those feelings are there for good reason. They tell us that something happened that crossed a line or caused real damage.
At some point, we also have to decide what we continue carrying with us.
Forgiving someone does not require us to forget what happened. It does not automatically restore trust or mean that a damaged relationship needs to continue.
Forgiveness can simply mean that we stop allowing an old injury to occupy the same amount of space in our lives.
That decision can take time.
Yom Kippur gives us a reason to look at these things honestly. It asks us to consider where we owe someone an apology, where we need to repair damage, and where we may be ready to let something go.
Mistakes Are Part of the Process
Reflection also means looking at our mistakes.
People often become so afraid of making the wrong decision that they hesitate to make one at all. They believe avoiding the decision protects them from failure or responsibility.
Life continues anyway. Other people make decisions. Circumstances change. Opportunities disappear.
Fear of making a mistake can eventually give away more control than the mistake itself.
I see a version of this regularly in Krav Maga training.
Some students want every movement to be perfect. They become tense because they are trying so hard to avoid doing something wrong. They start thinking through every detail while the drill is already moving around them.
That slows learning.
Training gives us a controlled place to make mistakes, recognize them, and correct them. You may react too slowly. Your balance may be wrong. A strike may miss. A defense may fail.
Now you have useful information.
You can understand what happened, make an adjustment, and try again.
The same principle applies outside the gym. A mistake has value when we are willing to examine it honestly and change what we do afterward.
Forgiving Yourself
Sometimes the person we struggle most to forgive is ourselves.
We remember decisions we wish we had made differently. We replay conversations. We think about opportunities we missed or moments when we did not behave the way we wish we had.
Taking responsibility for those things is healthy. Carrying them forever does not improve what already happened.
We still have to learn from them.
There is a difference between accepting that you made a mistake and accepting the mistake as the person you are.
One gives you information. The other can keep you stuck.
Yom Kippur is an opportunity to look back with enough honesty to see where we fell short, make amends where we can, and use what we learned when deciding how we want to live next.
We will make mistakes again.
The goal is to become better at recognizing them, taking responsibility sooner, learning from them, and doing better the next time.
That is a useful way to enter a new year.
Do something amazing,
Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & Chief Instructor
Krav Maga Experts
Suggested Reading
Common Training Mistakes in Krav Maga Training
How repeated mistakes can slow progress, and why honest training requires us to recognize them.
Self-Control Is a Self-Defense Skill
How training under pressure can expose frustration, ego, and reactions that need work.
Why “Good Enough” Fails in Martial Arts Training
Why serious training requires us to see weakness clearly and correct it before the consequences become serious.
