Who Packed Your Parachute?
In every mission, someone gets the credit. Someone is called the leader and receives the applause, the title, and the attention. Most of the time, that person is standing there because someone else made it possible.
We like to believe we got where we are through our own effort, discipline, and strength. If we are honest, most of us can name several people who supported us quietly. They showed up without asking for attention, carried weight we never saw, and kept things working while we focused on the next fight, the next goal, or the next test. This article is about those people: why we miss them, what they taught me, and a simple practice for recognizing the ones in your own life.
No One Works Alone
John Donne wrote that no man is an island. Nothing works in isolation: not combat, not business, not relationships, and not personal growth. Everything depends on the people behind the scenes who fold the parachutes, keep the trucks fueled, stock the shelves, prepare the gear, and keep the space safe. They stay late, clean up, fix, refill, and hold things together without stepping into the spotlight. If they stop showing up, the whole system breaks down.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, the world got a brief reminder of who those people are: delivery drivers, warehouse workers, sanitation crews, and factory workers kept everything moving while others stayed home. For a few months we noticed them. Most of the world forgot again as soon as life became comfortable. The work never stopped. The recognition did.
The Story of the Parachute
There is a story I once read about a Navy pilot named Charlie Plumb. He flew combat missions in Vietnam before he was shot down and held as a prisoner of war. Years later, a man approached him in a restaurant and said, “You’re Plumb. I packed your parachute.” That parachute had saved his life. The man who packed it was a sailor who folded equipment for people he would never meet, knowing it could one day be the difference between life and death. Plumb has said that he had never once thought about who packed it. He trusted the system without thinking about the people who made the system work.
Most of us live the same way. We assume everything will be ready, that someone will do their job, and that the support we depend on will simply exist. When it does, we rarely say anything. We usually notice only when something fails.
What the Army Taught Me About Support
In the army, we called them combat support: logistics, kitchen, maintenance, transport, and communications. These roles do not carry the title of fighter, and they make every fight possible. I remember coming back from long operations filthy, exhausted, and barely functioning, and finding hot food, full water tanks, recharged radios, and gear prepared for the next round. That did not happen by itself. Someone stayed up to make sure it did. They were not there for glory, and some of them did not even want to be there. They showed up because they knew their work mattered, even if no one would thank them for it.
One moment that stayed with me was watching my brigade commander, Dan, a man I respected and admired, get frustrated with a basic Nokia phone. He had just finished coordinating multiple units in real time across active combat zones, and then he looked at his phone and muttered, “How the hell does this thing work?” The memory still makes me laugh, and it also reminded me of something important. No one knows everything, and no one can do everything. We all need support, even the people giving the orders.
The People Who Filled Your Cup
This is not only true in combat. In your life, there have been people who filled your cup so you could keep going. It might have been a coach who believed in you when you were off track, a friend who found you a job when you had no options, a partner who took on extra responsibility at home so you could focus, or a parent who gave you room when you did not know what you were doing. They did not make it about themselves. They made it about you, and that is exactly why it was so easy to miss.
Most of us are trained to look forward, to the next goal, deadline, or achievement. We rarely stop to ask who helped us get here, and we are often taught to believe we earned everything on our own. In most cases, that is simply not true.
How to Recognize the People Who Keep You Going
Start by asking a few questions. Who helps you without asking for attention? Who solves problems before they land on your desk? Who notices when something is about to break and quietly fixes it? Who prepares things so that you can perform, lead, or simply function? When I was younger, these roles were obvious, because everyone knew the support units were behind every mission. In civilian life, they are easy to overlook, and most people only notice how much support they had once it disappears.
Here is a simple practice I recommend. Write down the names of five people who helped you get where you are, including at least one person whose help was mostly invisible. Next to each name, write one specific thing they did and what it made possible for you. Then choose one person this week and tell them directly, in a call, a handwritten note, or a conversation. Be specific, because “thank you for everything” is easy to say and easy to forget, while “you drove me to training every week that winter, and I would have quit without it” stays with someone. Repeat it every few months. Do not wait until they are gone. Tell them while it still matters.
Someone Is Saying This About You
Someone is probably saying the same thing about you. Maybe you showed up at the right moment without knowing it, made a call someone needed, or offered help without being asked. You may never know the impact you had, and it was still real. We tend to underestimate the weight we carry for others because we measure value by visibility. Some of the most important things you will ever do will not be noticed in the moment, and they will still make all the difference.
So ask yourself: who packed your parachute? Who helped you stay grounded or stand up when you were about to fall apart? And whose parachute are you folding now? Who needs you to show up, even if they never ask?
Awareness Includes the People Around You
One of the first things we teach in Krav Maga is awareness. Most people think that means scanning for danger. It also means noticing the people around you, the support as well as the threats. If you believe you did it all alone, you have not been paying attention. You are not self-made. None of us is. You have been helped, and now you are in a position to help others. Start with awareness, take responsibility, acknowledge what others did for you, and then do the same for someone else because it is the right thing to do. That is leadership, and it is how we keep each other going when no one is watching. I explore the leadership side of this in What Makes a Leader Under Pressure, and the everyday version of it in Having Your Back in New York City.
Do something amazing,
Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts
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3 Responses
Another great piece, Tsahi, thank you. Rick T.
This is such a great post. I’d like to share this to my friends even if they are not even doing krav because its so easy for people to forget those whose seeming little contributions still were very relevant in someone’s success and in some cases safety. This is kind of like when we watch a movie and all we remember are the big stars but when credits start rolling you see how so many people are actually responsible for such massive success in these movies. But no one even knows some of these people and yet every single one was important to see it to its completion. I read a book recently by Georges st Pierre called way of the fight. It’s somewhat of a memoir from his humble beginnings and his journey to how he made a name for himself. I believe the reason to his incredible accomplishment is not just because of his diligence and immense passion for his craft but rather how he regarded every one who has helped him and how he was grateful for how they in their own little ways made him be who he is now. That even includes some of his friends who initially bailed on him when he had to go to nyc (from Canada!) to train under john danaher while speaking very limited English and driving a beat up vehicle. Your post is a great reminder for all of us to never forget those who in some way shape or form have given us something to help us in our own personal journeys. That it is always a good thing to say thank you by word or deed.
Brilliant 👏