Case Study: What the Sean Combs and Cassie Ventura Video Teaches About Intimate Partner Violence
In May 2024, CNN published hotel surveillance footage from 2016 showing Sean “Diddy” Combs assaulting his then-girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, in a Los Angeles hotel hallway. The video shocked many people and brought public attention to a problem that is usually hidden: violence inside intimate relationships.
When I first saw the video online, I did not know who Sean Combs was. My first reaction was that this was another case of domestic violence, similar to many other videos showing men abusing their partners. Many women in the KME community reached out afterward and asked how to respond to attacks like this, and we addressed the subject in several classes. This article uses the incident as a case study. The celebrity names will fade from the news. The lessons about intimate partner violence apply to far more people.
Intimate Partner Violence Rarely Starts With a Punch
The most important lesson from this case happens before the footage begins. Physical violence in a relationship is usually preceded by other forms of control. Common early signs include intense jealousy, monitoring phones and messages, controlling money, deciding who a partner can see, isolating them from friends and family, humiliating them in private or public, and threatening them when they try to leave. This pattern is often called coercive control. Its purpose is to make one person dependent on and afraid of the other.
Coercive control is dangerous partly because it builds slowly. Each step seems small, and by the time violence appears, the person being abused may be isolated, financially dependent, and afraid of what will happen if they leave. Wealth and fame do not protect anyone from this pattern. Abuse happens across every income level and community, and anyone can become an abuser if the behaviors that lead there go unchecked. Judge people by their actions, not by their status. We describe these behaviors in more detail in Warning Signs and Red Flags for Sexual Violence.
What the Video Shows About Danger
In the footage, Ventura appears to be walking toward the elevator, trying to remove herself from the situation. That suggests an argument had already taken place. Leaving is often one of the most dangerous moments in an abusive relationship, because the abuser feels control slipping away. That is why safety planning matters so much when someone decides to leave.
The first attack came from behind: a grab and a throw to the ground. Once she was down, she was kicked and then dragged. The attack was fast and one-sided. Given the difference in size and the shock of the moment, she had very little chance to respond physically. That is the reality of many domestic assaults, and it is why prevention and early recognition matter more than any technique.
Danger Recognition and Safety Planning
Trust your senses. Your hearing, vision, and gut feeling give you early warnings. If something feels wrong in a relationship, take that feeling seriously. Escalating anger, threats, destruction of property, violence toward pets, and access to weapons are signs that danger is increasing.
If you are in a relationship that feels unsafe, a safety plan can help. Keep your phone charged and important documents, money, and medication somewhere you can reach quickly. Identify a safe place you can go and people you can call at any hour. Agree on a code word with a trusted friend that means “call for help.” Inside the home, notice where exits are and avoid being cornered in small rooms or kitchens where weapons are within reach. Domestic violence advocates can help you build a plan that fits your situation, and contacting them does not commit you to any decision.
Where Physical Self-Defense Fits
Physical resistance is not always the safest option, and nobody should feel they failed because they could not fight back. In many domestic situations, the safest choices are leaving early, getting help, and creating distance. When an attack does happen, some skills can reduce harm. Knowing how to fall protects the head, which is one reason we train breakfalls repeatedly. On the ground, keeping your legs between you and the attacker and using them to push and kick creates distance. Using your voice loudly can bring help. These skills buy time and space to escape. They are not a plan for defeating a larger, violent partner.
For a smaller person in an abusive situation, success looks like this: recognizing the early signs of control, telling people you trust, knowing your exits from the room and from the relationship, and surviving long enough to get away. Training helps people understand the shock of an attack and move through it instead of freezing, and it rebuilds confidence that abusive relationships often destroy. Our women’s self-defense program and our guide on how to set boundaries are good places to start.
Where to Get Help
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, you are not alone, and there is no shame in asking for help. In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233, or you can text START to 88788. In New York City, Safe Horizon’s hotline is available at 1-800-621-4673. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
At KME, we have worked with many women who have come through these circumstances. Circumstances are sometimes hard to change quickly. Personal strength and resilience are things you can build, and we are here to help.
Do something amazing,
Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts
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How to Build Trust After Trauma
Rebuilding safety and confidence after harm.
An Open Letter to Women From a Self-Defense Expert
Why preparation matters and where to begin.
