Why Do New Year’s Resolutions Fail?

The January Rush Is Predictable

Throughout my years as a self-defense teacher, I’ve seen the same “New Year’s Resolution Rush” to the studio every January. “My resolution is to learn self-defense.” I think it’s a fantastic resolution, and yet by February many of those new faces are gone.

Why does the enthusiasm fade? In my experience it comes down to six reasons, and almost every failed resolution I’ve seen has at least one of them.

1. The Goal Is Too Big or Too Vague

Too often, people set unattainable goals. Objectives that are too ambitious or vague are hard to reach. Resolving to “lose weight” without a plan will likely lead to failure, because the path to get there was never defined. If you want to run a half marathon this year and you’re out of shape, you don’t start with a 10-mile run. You start with one mile, add more over time, and only start running for time once you can finish the distance.

2. No Time Is Set Aside

Do you know what happens to goals when you don’t set times to meet them? They get pushed aside, because life gets in the way. You don’t need to go all-in. An hour or two every week, protected without exception, will take you further than an ambitious plan that never makes it into the calendar.

3. Progress Goes Untracked

When we don’t track progress, we often don’t notice the changes. Changes don’t happen overnight. They happen slowly and steadily. I often refer to the Sorites paradox, the “paradox of the heap.” Each practice session can feel like a single grain of sand added to a heap, too small to make a difference. Cumulatively, it does. Whatever you do counts, and whatever you don’t do also counts.

In 2017, a dear friend of mine, who wasn’t in great shape at the start of that year, posted that he had finally completed a 60-minute plank challenge. I saw how much stronger he’d become and wondered whether I could do it. After 10 seconds of negative self-talk, I snapped out of it and decided to prove to myself I could.

2017 was a big year for me. I had just built my third gym, the one you know as KME Brooklyn, and my second son was born around the same time. Time was a resource I couldn’t afford, and spending 60 minutes a day planking wasn’t realistic. So I started with one minute on the first day and added 15 seconds each day. Even when it felt too easy, I didn’t add more.

Before I realized it, I was holding 15 minutes, then 20. The nights were sleepless because my newborn son woke up a lot, so I did my plank when I got up at night to soothe him. When I reached just over 30 minutes, my time ran short, and I decided it was enough. My goal was never 60 minutes. My goal was to see if I could. I learned once again that the mind is the limit, and when the mind doesn’t limit you, time will.

4. The Plan Runs on Motivation

Motivation fades, discipline doesn’t. Discipline is built through repeated actions, and it depends on commitment far more than mood. I have goals I haven’t met in over a decade, and others I’ve reached far beyond what I imagined possible for me.

One goal I never reached was learning Spanish. In 2008, I took a Spanish class I didn’t enjoy, bought books, and invested in learning, but I didn’t make time to practice. No one in my immediate environment spoke Spanish, so I couldn’t hold a conversation. A couple of years later I hired a tutor, and even though she was amazing at teaching, I didn’t practice between sessions. I got discouraged and eventually stopped. It wasn’t her fault I made no progress. It was mine alone.

If I had learned one word a day since I first hoped to learn Spanish, I would know thousands of words today. Practicing consistently forms habits, habits become automatic, and once a habit is in place you need far less motivation to keep going.

5. There Are Too Many Resolutions

Juggling more balls makes it more likely you’ll drop them, and having too many resolutions does the same to your focus. Concentrating on a few key goals gives each one a real chance.

6. The Root Cause Is Never Addressed

Often, the habit we try to change is only the surface of a deeper problem. If one of your goals is to reduce screen time but your job keeps you on a computer all day, you won’t reach it without changing something bigger. Or perhaps you chose the wrong goal in the first place, which is why how you choose your New Year’s resolution deserves real thought.

Self-awareness and reflection are necessary for anything you’re trying to achieve in life. Understanding why you engage in a certain behavior or relationship is the first step in changing it. Once you see the root cause, a small, realistic goal can start changing the bigger picture. Amazing things rarely happen without full intent.

Knowing Why Is Half the Work

Once you know why resolutions fail, the other half is building the routine that keeps yours alive. I lay out that system step by step in how to keep your New Year’s resolutions, and if you want to know the exact point where most people give up, read about Quitter’s Day.

Don’t be afraid to do something hard. You might fail, which is a blessing and will serve you best over time, because failure is your best teacher. Or you might achieve something amazing. Embrace it either way. If your resolution this year is to learn to protect yourself, our self-defense classes in NYC welcome complete beginners at our Upper West Side and Park Slope studios.

Let’s all do something amazing,

Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts

Relevant Articles:

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions
The six-step system I give students who start in January and want to still be training in December.

Quitter’s Day: When New Year’s Resolutions Dissolve
Most people never say “I quit.” This is how they negotiate their way out in mid-January, and how structure stops it.

How to Choose the Right New Year’s Resolution
Five questions to ask before you commit, so the resolution you pick fits the time and life you really have.

Questions About Why Resolutions Fail