What to Do When Your Child Is Being Bullied and the School Does Nothing

People like to think bullying is something that happens to kids—a schoolyard problem that fades with age. It doesn’t. Bullying just changes its face. It appears in schools, then later in workplaces and relationships, hiding behind charm, titles, and systems more concerned with appearances than accountability. But let’s start where it usually begins.

A child is targeted. Maybe they look different, are quiet, or just seem like an easy mark.
 

It starts with name-calling or social exclusion, aiming to break their confidence. Once the child shows signs of insecurity or fear, the bully escalates. It becomes physical. By the time a child gets hit or pushed, they’ve already been mentally worn down. Fighting back is no longer instinctive. It’s something they now question. Because they’ve been told that violence is never the answer. That if they strike back, they’ll get in trouble. So they freeze.

They walk around with their heads down, hoping it will stop. Hoping someone will notice. Hoping the system will fix it for them.

They do what they’ve been taught. They report it to a teacher. And the teacher might say, “Just avoid him,” or “I’ll have a talk with him.” That’s it. No real consequence. No real accountability. The bully learns that nothing happens. The victim learns that speaking up doesn’t help. And so the abuse continues, and the damage compounds.

Too often, schools don’t take action because they’re trying to protect their image, not your child. Administrators fear lawsuits, bad press, or backlash from other parents. Sometimes they’re undertrained. Sometimes they just don’t want the paperwork. But make no mistake—when they choose to do nothing, they’re not neutral. 

They’re protecting the aggressor. And it’s your job as a parent to disrupt that pattern. Don’t settle for vague answers. Demand documentation. Keep records. Push through the layers until your voice is too loud to ignore.

It’s easy to tell a child to keep reporting, but how many times can a kid cry for help before they stop believing anyone’s listening? That’s where most parents fail without realizing it. They assume the school will take care of it. They assume the system is built to protect their child. That’s a mistake.

If your child tells you they’re being bullied, it’s your job to act. Don’t just talk to the teacher. Speak to the principal. Ask for written records of the incidents. Request a formal action plan and a follow-up timeline. Involve the school counselor. Email the district if needed. Quote their own anti-bullying policies back to them. Don’t assume one meeting will fix it. When you’re persistent and organized, people take you seriously.

It also means reaching out to the bully’s parents. Most people skip this step—either out of discomfort or fear of confrontation. But in many cases, the other parents have no idea what’s happening. A direct and respectful conversation can go a long way. If they’re defensive or dismissive, at least now you know what you’re dealing with. But if they’re willing to help, that’s a good sign.

Parents often can’t imagine that their children are capable of harming anyone. The instinct is to defend the child and assume that what’s being said is an accusation rather than a fact. But a parent who truly cares about their child’s development needs to pause and take that feedback seriously. It’s not an attack, it’s an opportunity to correct something early, before it becomes a pattern. You want to be the kind of parent who helps your child stop themselves from heading down the wrong path, not one who protects them from accountability.

And if you do reach out and get a vague or passive response, it’s time to shift the focus back to your own child. Don’t let their indifference become your child’s burden. At that point, your child needs to know they are allowed to defend themselves. Not to become the aggressor. Not to start fights. But to protect themselves when others refuse to. And when I say defend, I mean this—the response should be controlled, but it must be effective. Bullies don’t respect polite resistance.

If someone hits your child a second time and your child responds in a way that is strong, clean, and memorable—that’s when it usually stops. Not because you asked. Because the bully finally sees a line they can’t cross without consequence.

This isn’t about promoting violence. It’s about refusing to raise children who are defenseless. It’s about teaching them that they have value, and no one has the right to harm them. A proportional response is good—but if the bully keeps coming, the response must be big enough to leave an impression. Otherwise, it becomes a routine the bully gets comfortable with, and your child starts to believe they are supposed to accept it.

The longer this goes on, the more permanent the damage. I’ve seen grown adults still carrying the scars of what they endured as children. Not just physical pain, but the internalized belief that they don’t have a voice. That they don’t get to draw boundaries. That if they do, they’ll be punished.

As a parent, I take this seriously. I will never allow my children to harm others, and I won’t take it lightly if they do. That doesn’t mean I raise them to be soft. It means I raise them to be responsible. Some parents brush things off with, “Well, they’re just kids.” That kind of thinking is part of the problem. Not hurting others isn’t just a rule—it should be a value.

Something you teach, protect, and act on consistently. If your child crosses the line, the answer isn’t to excuse it. It’s to correct it. Because letting it slide tells them that harm is negotiable. And that’s how bullies are made.

If your child is being verbally bullied, you may not see bruises—but the damage is real. Verbal bullying chips away at a child’s sense of worth. It makes them afraid to speak up, to be seen, to take up space. But even in these cases, you teach them where the line is. You teach them to respond, and if needed, to walk away from toxic environments without apology. You teach them that kindness doesn’t mean surrender. That real kindness has strength behind it.

Talk to your child today. Ask if they feel safe. Ask if they’ve seen others being bullied. Make sure they know they can come to you—and that you’ll do more than just listen. Then look at what the school says they do, and compare it to what they’ve actually done. Don’t wait for another incident. Don’t wait for the school to step up. Don’t wait until your child stops believing in you. If no one else will draw the line, you do it. And make sure your child sees you standing there—firm, calm, and unwilling to let them be hurt again.

Do something amazing,

Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts

Related Articles:
You Should Never Hit First… Not Always
What I Can’t Accept I Must Change
What Doesn’t Break Us Makes Us Stronger