Why the Spirit of Giving Has Been Replaced by Spending
The holidays arrive with a loud promise. Family. Warmth. Togetherness. Joy. For some people, that promise lands gently. For others, it lands like a reminder of what never was.
Not everyone has a supportive family. Not everyone has a table that feels safe to sit around. Some people move through this season quietly, counting the days until it passes. When holidays are framed around receiving, they automatically exclude those who have nothing waiting for them on the other side of the celebration.
That is why the holidays were never meant to be about receiving. Receiving assumes someone is there to give to you. Giving does not. Giving is always available. Even when you are alone. Especially when you are alone.
True giving is not transactional. It does not ask for recognition. It does not try to prove love through spending. It comes from the heart, not the wallet.
Here is an uncomfortable truth that deserves to be said clearly. People with less often give more. They need more themselves, yet they give more. Not because they are morally superior, but because they understand need from the inside. They know what absence feels like. They know the weight of being unseen. When they give, it is not strategic. It is human.
People with abundance often give to feel good about themselves. People with scarcity give to help. That difference changes everything.
I grew up Jewish. I never celebrated Christmas. When Hanukkah came every year, I never expected eight gifts. One gift per night was not the point. It was never the point.
The idea of multiple gifts entered later, mostly through comparison. Jewish kids looked at Christian kids. Expectations grew. Jealousy followed. Slowly, a holiday rooted in survival and light started absorbing consumer habits that had nothing to do with its meaning.
I explain this gently to my kids today, who live in a very different world than I grew up in. I tell them the truth. The gift culture around Hanukkah came from comparison, not tradition. From wanting to keep up, not from understanding what the holiday stands for. Hanukkah celebrates survival. It celebrates light in darkness. It marks endurance under pressure. It has nothing to do with expensive purchases that children enjoy for a few days and forget shortly after.
When gifts become the focus, the meaning dissolves. When spending replaces teaching, the lesson is lost.
The same distortion plays out across the holidays in every culture. Parents stretch themselves financially to meet imaginary standards. Adults feel shame for not giving enough. Children learn to measure love through objects instead of presence. Guilt drives generosity instead of care.
That is not giving. That is pressure disguised as tradition.
There is a story that cuts through all of this with brutal clarity.
There was once a fabulously wealthy man who made a strange request before he died. He asked his children to bury him wearing his favorite pair of socks. In Jewish tradition, this is impossible. You are buried in a simple shroud. No accessories. No status. No possessions. Nothing extra.
The children tried everything. They argued. They pleaded. They searched for loopholes. There were none. After the funeral, the family lawyer handed them a final letter from their father.
In it, he wrote, “You see, my dear children, even a pair of socks cannot come with you in the end. So be kind, be generous, and use what you have wisely.”
That is the lesson most people avoid. Nothing you own follows you. Not the gifts you received. Not the money you spent. Not the image you maintained. What remains is how you treated people when you had the chance.
Giving is not about how much. It is about how honest. A small act done with pure intention carries more weight than a large gesture done for attention. Checking on someone who is alone. Listening without trying to fix. Offering help without expecting recognition. These things cost very little and matter deeply.
This is where the holidays can be reclaimed. Not as a performance. Not as a shopping season. But as a reminder of responsibility to one another.
At Krav Maga Experts, we talk a lot about protection, strength, and preparedness. But real strength is not only physical. It is moral. It is the ability to give without posturing. To help without controlling. To show up without needing credit.
So here is my encouragement. Do one act of kindness this season. Small or big. Quiet or visible. Just make sure it is clean. No expectation. No transaction. No story attached. Give because you can, not because you want to be seen.
And in that same spirit of giving, I want to say this clearly. If you have always wanted to train, to feel safer, stronger, more grounded, but budget is genuinely standing in your way, reach out to us. If we can help, we will. I promise. No pressure. No guilt. No obligation. Just honesty.
Light is not measured by how bright it looks. It is measured by whether it helps someone see.
That is the spirit of the holidays.
Do something amazing,
Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts
Relevant articles
Deficit-Based Giving vs Abundance-Based Giving — Most people think they’re giving generously. This shows the difference between giving to fill a hole and giving from strength.
Why Gratitude Is Important During Hard Times — Gratitude isn’t politeness. It’s a discipline that keeps you grounded when life strips things away.
The Weight of Neglect — What happens when presence is replaced by avoidance, and why neglect costs more than people realize.
One Response
Very wise and beautiful sentiments which perfectly capture the true essence of the season. Thank you, Tsahi, for continuing to selflessly share your wisdom and skills with our KME family and the UWS community at large. I hope you have had a wonderful Hanukkah with your boys and wish you and all of our KME friends much peace and joy in the New Year.
Rick T.